April 22, 2021

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Go for 2!

5 min read

Many of you know me and know how much I dislike kickers. In football, you have so many different positions, and many of them function in a multitude of ways to make the teamwork properly. However, kickers have only one job to do, and they can make or break a game with making or missing kicks.

I haven’t always disliked kickers this much, but it’s gotten much worse as the years passed. So many years I’ve watched, bad kicker after bad kicker, who only had one job, just screw up over and over again. We did have a consistent kicker in Grammatica, and maybe that spoiled me. Then we had Matt Bryant. However – And we all know about the kicking curse –It’s been all downhill since we cut Matt Bryant. Bryant signed with the Falcons after being released by and being replaced by Mike Nugent – @#$%ing Mike Nugent. No kicker since the release of Matt Bryant has done anything truly worth a shit. – Please excuse my Swahili.

Here is a list of worthless @#$%ing wastes of a roster spot we had to endure with, while Matt Bryant was finishing his career with Atlanta. (Matt Bryant is currently a free agent).

2009: @#$%ing Mike Nugent the New York Jets’ 2005 second-round draft pick who was a complete waste of space, time, and money. This P.O.S. couldn’t kick his way out of a paper bag. The Bucs were 0-3 and had a chance to win against the Redskins in week 4, but Nugent missed two easy field goals and was released the following day.

2009: Shane Andrus : This garbage @ss kicker looked promising for a split second, but that was probably the sun glaring in my eyes. At least he made 7 extra points before we got rid of him for a much better Conor Barth. Conor Barth, he looked like he was going to be our kicker! Barth Vader achieved something that no other kicker in Bucs history had done, and that was making 3 field goals of over 50 yards in one game against the Dolphins in November of 2009. Although, the Bucs lost that game 23-25. Barth played well for the next 3 season in Tampa, and I thought he was the one who would stick around, but, he tore his Achilles tendon in a charity basketball game in 2013 before training camp and would not be able to play that season, so Tampa moved on to MRSA king Rian Lindell. Barth did go on to have a great career, even returning to Tampa in 2015 after being released for Kyle-what-a-joke-Brindza, along with Patrick Murray also being released.

Patrick Murray played well for us when he was here, and I liked him a lot but decided to juggle between Roberto Aguayo, Nick Foles, and Chandler Catanzaro.

Now, it starts getting good, and man, do I mean good. Well, okay, I really mean it starts getting really bad for our kicking situation. Not sure how it goes from bad to worse, but it did. It began when Jason Licht traded up into the second round of the 2016 NFL Draft to get Roberto Aguayo. “Roberto Aguayo was good in college!”, as the saying goes. The problem is: As great as he was in college, he @#$%ing sucked in the pros. My dislike for kickers moved into an all-time high at this point, and you can thank Roberto Suckauyo for that! However, his replacement Nick Folk was pure Folking trash! I still can remember that Thursday night game vs the Patriots, where he missed from 56, 49, 31, and due that sh*t performance, Folk earned himself a ticket out of Tampa Bay and into a Bob Menery video; seen here: Nick Folk @#$%ing Sucks (NSFW). I am so glad that Folk’n guy is gone. Hell, if the Folk’n guy would have made those kicks, we may have beaten Tom Brady and the Patriots for the first time.

Meanwhile, Matt Bryant is still kicking with the Falcons, and we are still trying to find his replacement.

Next, we sign Chandler Catanzaro. The Bucs and Bucs fans talked him up so much! They said he was a good kicker. I had my doubts, of course. And, yep, just like that, he @#$%ing sucked too, so much so, it prompted me to give him the nickname Cantkickanzaro, because he can’t kick worth a damn. He got cut and guess who we get!? Cario Santos! He wasn’t too bad, but he wasn’t too good. The dude had zero leg power, and couldn’t kick passed 39 yards.

After all of the failed kicking experiments, the Bucs decide to try one more and draft Matt Gay in 2019. I was at this draft in Nashville, and I was shaking my head. The 2019 season plays out, and in typical Bucs kicker fashion, he struggles. I was not surprised. Fast forward to now, and he is struggling in training camp. Again, not surprised.

Kickers have one job, but for me, our pisspoor kicking crew over the past 3 or 4 years have screwed that up to the point I am finished with kickers for good. I’d love to have the feeling other team’s fans have when their kicker lines up for a field goal. They just know that he is going to make it. Not ours. When ours line up, I just know they will miss it. It has now become a surprise to me when they make a field goal.

Due to the despondency from kickers missing all the time, I say we should bring back the fullback position; have 2 on the roster and just always go for 2. I’ve lost faith in any kicker that wears a Bucs uniform. I’d love to one day get back to having faith in my kicker like I did, when Martin Grammatica, Michael Husted, and Donald Igwebuike graced our team, but until we do, we should always go for 2. In my opinion, we would have a much better chance of making the 2-point conversion, than we would, having to watch another extra point missed.

So, until things change, my dislike for kickers will stay the same; and for that to change, I’d have to see at least 2 good seasons out of a Bucs kicker before my opinion changes.


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